Lets See What's Behind Door #2

On March 24th I had the bankart procedure done to my right shoulder. Let's just say that this has been a pain in my ass. For the past eight and a half weeks it's been like I have been stuck in a worm hole living each day over and over again. Besides the pain that I have been enduring, I have been battling depression. I don't know if who ever is reading this has ever had to deal with depression but it is unbearable at times.

I have my good days and I have my bad one's. The bad day's, I don't feel like getting out of bed and let's just say I don't feel self worth. I wouldn't have the thought's of offing myself but I felt a time's that my wife and kids were better off with out me. For the past 5 weeks I have been getting help with my battle. Since then, I see myself and my life in a whole new way. I recently started my physical therapy for my shoulder and I'm progressing very well with that.

In about two weeks I am able to return to work and start contributing in the financial side of things. I am very proud to say I'm getting help with my personal demons. The first part of dealing with this is acceptance and I accept what my problems are. To anyone who reads this and judges me, just think, at least I'm not afraid to get help.

Ryan, You Know What's Good for Shoulder Pain?

I just started my physical therapy yesterday and god does my shoulder kill me. I know what therapy is like cause when I blew my knee out in high school but damn. I guess when you get older the recovery time is a little longer. The only way I can describe it is, if you have seen the second Ace Ventura when he gets hit with the darts and his arms go limp and he swings them, thats what my arm feels like. I felt like the biggest baby when my trainer was stretching and pulling my arm in ways it hasn't been done in a while and I just wanted to scream. The nice thing is I will make a quicker recovery because of this. Instead of it being a two month rehab it will only take a month of getting my ass kicked.

I Just Don't Know If I Can.

The past few days my wife and I were talking about maybe having a third kid. I know in my mind that sounds great since I don't have a boy but, I love what we have as a family right now. See this is what I'm struggling with. I know in my heart that I would love a third but, is it fair? My wife and my little girls are my world and I don't want to lose that. I just don't know if I can give another baby as much love as I do my girls now. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't think I can be a good enough dad to three.

Oppy Doopy Baylor went Poopy

Yes I think the title says it all. My littlest one after getting out of the bath pooped all over the hallway floor. While I was in the girls bedroom getting our oldest daughter ready for bed, all I could hear was my wife in the hallway yelling NO!NO!NO!. When I looked up sure enough there it was. The most disgusting fowl smelling turd I have ever seen in my life. To any parent it is a normal thing to see in your life time but for me, that was the first. My wife laughing uncontrollably, takes our little one into their room while I got stuck cleaning up the sewer snake. After cleaning up the log, my oldest says to me "Daddy that smells really bad." all I could respond with was a chuckle and "Yes, Yes it is." So to any parent to be or any parent that has little one's Good luck it's horrible and funny at the same time. Opps just threw up a little in my mouth saying that.

Passion of the Tebow

Why does the media love this guy? Is it because he wears eye black with bible verses on them? Is it because after every interview he says "God bless" could it be that easy? When Tebow first committed to Florida there was more media coverage it seemed like than there was for the pope passing away. His college career was great but not godly. The Flordia Gators won two national championships while he was there but in the first one he was a small part of the whole puzzle.

As a matter of fact if you look at his career the thing he is most known for is the "Promise" that he made after the loss to Ole Miss. Shouldn't we all be looking at Urban Meyer as the puppet master pulling the strings of Tebow? I think that the media should be riding Meyers coat tails instead of Tim Tebow. I'm not trying to take anything away from him he truely was a leader on and off the field, it's just give the ten other players on the field with him some credit.

The way ESPN, ABC and CBS handled his concussion you would of thought the president was just killed. They made him out to be the golden boy of college football and everything he did was etched in stone. I think that ESPN even had a moment of silence for him and some of the broadcasters were even crying. Not really but sounds good. When Tim Tebows name wasn't announced as the 2009 Heismen Trophy winner, I thought they were going to end the program right then and there. What a sad day in college football Brent Mussberger must of been thinking.

As for the NFL he wasn't to be picked in the first round. I can't believe that the Denver Bronco's are taking that chance on him. I think the coach for Denver even said that he could be as good as John Elway. I mean come on people there was only one Elway and there is no way to compare him to Tebow. I hope he has a good career in the pros but I just don't think that he will ever be a super bowl winner unless he is a back up. That's all I have to say on Tebow he isn't GOD people!

F@#k You Computer!!!!

I'm just putting this out there cause my fricking computer is running so slow I feel like beating the shit out of it. Sorry honey we might not have this computer very long if it keeps running like this. I swear it's running so slow that an old person in a hover round could drive around the city and back and my computer will still be on the same page loading. Just thought that I would share this people not to funny or stupid just in between. I gotta go, I guess Corey Cooper and some other guy are picketing in front of the city building. Too F-ing funny.Peace I'm outta here!

P.S. Damn it feels good to be a gangster. Look at the picture.

If Lewis can do it! So can I.

This is my first blogging experience so bare with me please. I sat back for a while and watched my wife blogging and I really didn't know what all the buzz was about. I started reading her blogs about two months ago and I was very impressed on what I was reading. So I thought to myself why not try it out. I figure this could be a good way to get things off my chest that I don't really talk about. So I guess I can honestly say that I'm a blogger now and for my wife yeah.. you're right I think this is going to be a great thing for me. I can only hope that for any of my followers (if I get any) have a good time reading and commenting on what I have written about. Peace I'm outta here!